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Cooking's So Hard
Hungry Six-Pack.png
Vocals Lucifer, Leviathan, Beelzebub
Album Hungry Six-Pack
Release 25 January 2021
Label Obey Me! Records

Cooking's So Hard is the sixth audio drama that was released along with Beelzebub's character song, Hungry Six-Pack on January 25th, 2021.


English Translation

Beelzebub: Lucifer, it looks like it's our turn to cook dinner.

Lucifer: So it is.

Beelzebub: I want everyone to try something I've been really into recently. So I was thinking of making of shadow goose meat and egg lasagna.

Lucifer: Mmhm, good idea.

Beelzebub: First we need to make the sauce. Place onions, mince, and tomatoes in the frying pan. Then add stock, salt, pepper, and sugar while stirring.

Lucifer: Okay, You're doing well.

Beelzebub: Okay, now to try it. *glug* *nom* *nom* Hmm...Err... I'm still not sure... I'll try some more. *glug* *glug* *glug*

Lucifer: You're taste testing straight from the frying pan?

Beelzebub: Hmm, I think I need to try some more. *glug*

Lucifer: That's a big taste test.

Beelzebub: All right.

Lucifer: Do you have a better idea of the flavor yet?

Beelzebub: One more taste.

Lucifer: Another?!

Beelzebub: *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug*

Lucifer: Are you sure you're not just drinking the sauce?

Beelzebub: Okay, this should be all right! It's perfect!

Lucifer: Congratulations on figuring out the flavor. However, the sauce, it's all gone.

Beelzebub: What?!

Lucifer: Maybe that was one too many taste tests.

Beelzebub: I just wanted everyone to enjoy something that was truly delicious.

Lucifer: Your heart is in the right place but...

Beelzebub: Let's make it one more time. First, onion, mince, and tomatoes in the frying pan. Then stock, salt, pepper, and sugar while stirring.

Lucifer: Okay. You're doing well.

Beelzebub: Okay, one little tast- *glug* *glug* *glug*

Lucifer: Straight from the frying pan again...

Beelzebub: *glug*

Lucifer: This one's long.

Beelzebub: *gulp*

Lucifer: I-I'm sure that's enough. I-I think you can stop now. That's way too many big of a taste. Isn't it hot?! Wait, wait. Hold on. Give it a break. Stop!

Beelzebub: Aaaaaah!

Lucifer: You drank it all...

Beelzebub: Pheeeew! Time for another.

Lucifer: Hey...

Beelzebub: Oh, sorry. You wanted a taste too, didn't you Lucifer?

Lucifer: No, that's not at all it! We're not going to get past making the sauce at this rate!

Beelzebub: Right... The goal is to make a lasagna... *munch* This time, I'll cut back on how much I try.

Lucifer: You say as you literally bite into one of the onions! You're appetite is as terrifying as ever.

Beelzebub: *munch* I seriously want to make everyone something nice to eat. *munch* *munch* This is good *munch* *munch*

Lucifer: Okay, I've got it. I'll watch over your taste tests.

Beelzebub: Does that mean you'll test my taste tests?

Lucifer: Yes, this will be a "taste test test."

Beelzebub: Got it. But you've got to let me investigate whether this "taste test test" is fair or not.

Lucifer: So you're going to test my "taste test test"?

Beelzebub: Yes, it will be "taste test test test".

Lucifer: Sounds fair enough.

Beelzebub: Okay, let's make the sauce. Frying pan, onion, mince, tomato. Stock, salt, pepper, sugar, stir.

Lucifer: Okay you're doing well.

Beelzebub: Here I go. I'm taking the ladle and tasting the sauce.

Lucifer: "Taste test test" ⁠⁠— start! First, this ladle is way too big! Use this spoon.

Beelzebub: "Taste test test test" ⁠⁠— launch! That spoon is way too small! I'm using this spoon.

Lucifer: "Taste test test test test" ⁠— is a go! THAT spoon is way too big! It's basically another ladle! Use this spoon.

Beelzebub: "Taste test test test test test" ⁠⁠— initiated!

Leviathan: UUUUM!

Beelzebub: Levi...

Leviathan: Is dinner ready yet? We're starving out here.

Lucifer: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Beelzebub: We'll get right into it!

Leviathan: I, uh, okay whatever I guess.

Beelzebub: I'll make enough for everyone to taste test!

Leviathan: Give us dinner, not taste test!